Roller Skating and Other Realizations

It's no secret that my husband and I very rarely get a moment alone together outside of this house. If we do it is usually with some purpose, to handle some sort of family business; such as grocery shopping or paying bills. I decided to set up a roller skating night for adults because we had so much fun going ice skating at Gracelynn's birthday party. However, the downfall was that we had to help the kids skate which left very little time for us to just skate and relax. It was an unfortunate circumstance that more people weren't able to go to this event, but just the prospect of going out and enjoying ourselves and the company of others was nice. As we don't get to socialize with other adults much either unless it's via facebook, email, or text. Now, don't get me wrong...I'm not complaining. This is just the way it is and circumstantial when you have four children and other things that get in the way of what was once a normal and frequent occurrence. I told my friend Katie once that when you have children that you do give up a large portion of your life for them, because they do not stay little children forever. They grow and the time you get with them eventually becomes less frequent. You have to play a role and be a constant in their lives, but you cannot completely give up any and all freedom. It will drive a sane person mad.
So, we finally arrive at Rollercade, with Jon in tow, and wait for Rachel and Sadie. When we go inside after paying we stand at the front counter, initially to wait for Rachel and Sadie to pay and come inside and secondly to get skates, which we hadn't really paid attention to where we were to get the skates. Some little teeny bopper decides to talk about us loudly and unobscurely in regard to why we are standing there. I thought it was quite rude and disrespectful. However, I let it slide like so many things in life now because they just aren't worth the time or effort. Admittedly I really felt old initially. What was a near empty building slowly but steadily seemed to decrease in size as more children showed up. This didn't bother me as much as the fact that as a mother I was now observant and appalled by the apparel of these children. Girls that were maybe 10-14 dressing in ways that most adults shouldn't. Their language, attitudes, and attire...I just could not comprehend what parent allows their child to go out this way. I eventually put the thoughts aside and just enjoyed my time skating. Sadie's friend Robyn showed up so there was another body on the adult team and a few others not in our party began to, if just slightly, seemed to even the playing field.
I realized quickly just how out of shape I was as I watched everyone else zip around the rink. It was the first time I had been rollerskating in 16 years. Up until the near end of our two hours I struggled to keep my balance until finally I began to find my rhythm. The only problem was that I started to feel a lot of pain in my foot, mostly in my big toe. Turns out I had a monstrous blister. I wouldn't however have changed anything. I can recall at one point that as Steve and I skated side by side that he looked at me. It was a look I recognized well, of deep compassion and love. I felt as if I had suddenly went back to the very moments of our beginning and how that look made me feel all girly and slightly insecure. As many times as I thought that I was in love, I had truthfully only loved. It wasn't nearly the depth of the love that enraptured my heart when I met Steven.
Beyond that I think I have a much deeper appreciation now for friendships as well. There was always something admirable about Rachel. I can't really describe what it was but I was always intrigued with her as a person. I knew that she was someone that I could see myself learning something valuable from. I still haven't figured out exactly what it is, I just know that I admire her. Also, now that I've met Sadie I couldn't even tell you how much I've grown to admire her as well. Their dynamic as a couple is so interesting and strong and I see so many valuable qualities in the two of them and it is only magnified by the magnitude of what they have together. Just like Steve and I, I see that their struggles are also their strengths. I think as my life has changed so much in the last few years my perception of things has also changed. I also love that Steve and I can be friends with each other's friends. I never had a relationship that was like that. My friends and their friends would always be at a distance with each other and us. Like Jon. I met him on the very day that Steve and I had our first official date and we clicked right away. I even got him to play Black Ops with me prior to going skating.
 I think I miss people more, but from a distance. Like Katie, Luke, Alyssa...all the people that I spent multiple days per week with has dwindled down to maybe once a month or less, but they've gone no further from my heart. I understand that they go through the same things I do. A hectic schedule of life and family that leaves that little room for social interaction. So instead of feeling sad I feel empowered to know that we are all growing as people and we are trying to raise our children to be the exact opposite of the many I encountered at the rink. That is something to admire in itself.